Monday, January 2, 2012

4 days until due date

Four days until my due date. Overall, still feeling pretty good. My biggest complaint, overall, is still my hips / leg pain. Sleeping is becoming difficult because of leg pain and difficulty changing positions. I have also been getting very tired mid-day, needing a nap, which is so unusual for me.

The waiting is hard, too, because of the whole not knowing when things are going to happen. I like my new doctor, but don't have quite as much confidence in her willingness to let me do things my way. I am  bit worried that she is going to push for an induction before I am ready, and having researched getting my membranes stripped I don't want to do that. (She hasn't mentioned stripping membranes. She has mentioned induction, but in a joking manner like "We had you on bed rest all this time and now we are probably going to have to induce - ha ha!") Still, we'll see. I am just afraid that at Thursday's visit, we are going to start going down that road (which makes sense - I mean, it is something we will need to start discussing...)

I am feeling conflicted. (Not that any of my feelings matter if I want to do it naturally, which means things will happen when they want to and my feelings won't affect that at all - although I guess they could contribute to my willingness to induce. I mean, I could probably get induced on Friday if I wanted to.)

Wanting to have the baby earlier:
Hopefully the hip pain being gone faster / getting a move on towards feeling normal again.
Getting to meet the baby faster.
Not having to worry about inducing when I don't want to. 
Not having to worry about the baby's health when I can't directly see the baby.
Not having to wait and wonder anymore.
Baby will be smaller / hopefully easier to deliver.


Wanting to wait until later:
More time to decide on a name.
More time to finish Geoff's room.
Farther away from Christmas
More time off work / closer to Spring Break when I DO go back.
Still worried - am I ready for two?
Mainly - wanting the baby to come in its own time.

I had bad dreams again last night. I freakin HATE that I read the synopsis of Sophie's Choice a few years ago because my dream was a strange twist on that.

Sometimes I dream that the baby is a boy, and sometimes I dream that the baby is a girl. (Not always bad dreams, just commenting. I still don't have an idea.)

We need to narrow down our list of boys names. We are down to two girls names, but even then I am stressed about it. Ok. Enough venting.

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