1 week

Baby Geoffrey has been here for one whole week. It just amazes me that a little over a week ago, he was in my stomach and now he is here - a citizen of the world. Wow!

Highlights: Geoffrey! He is so cute, so fun, so amazing. I love his chin quiver - that is already going away! He likes to be swaddled at night. I love breastfeeding - it is the most amazing feeling and I love looking at his cute little face from that angle - although I must admit, I do look forward to pumping a few bottles here and there so that Daddy and Grandma can help with the night feedings. I love when he stares intently off to the side. He likes tummy time - sometimes. He loves his swing. I love watching him with Daddy and Grandma - they have been an amazingly huge help. Grant stays up almost all night with Geoff, bringing him up when he needs a feeding but playing with him and comforting him when he needs it downstairs so I can get as much sleep as possible. Mom (Grandma) helps me out during the day with diaper changes, feeding me, playing with Geoff. I have been SO lucky to have all the help, especially while I am healing. I am, of course, super tired, which is to be expected, but I think that we are all doing a little better than we expected because we're such a good team.

Last Tuesday, Geoff had his first appointment with Dr. Chang. He gained 2 ounces since his discharge from the hospital. His jaundice was elevated slightly. At this point, his poos were still meconium, so Dr. Chang said she wanted 5 poopy diapers by the end of the week, or we should call. My milk had just started coming in the night before, and since then, Geoffrey has been a pooing champion, more than meeting his quota of dirty diapers. And I must say, his poopy diapers are really cool - they don't smell bad at all and they are really easy to clean up! .

I want to blog more often but it has been hard. I have one "Mommy Moment" I wanted to share, though. Before I started clipping his nails, I kept socks on his hands to keep him from scratching himself. But the socks kept falling off his hands as he squirmed around. One afternoon, he had lost one of his socks and we couldn't find it anywhere - until about an hour later when I went to feed him again. I unclipped my nursing tank top and sitting snuggly between my boobs was Geoffrey's other sock. Hee hee. Some day, this story will probably embarrass the heck out of poor little Geoffrey, but to me, it was so cute, so precious, and such a defining moment for me - it was like, Yup, I'm a Mommy!

Labor and Delivery

On Friday morning, at around 6, I noticed I wasn't feeling that great. My stomach sort of hurt. I started watching the clock and realized that the pains were coming at about every 15 minutes or so. Wow! Was this early labor?

Well, by 7:45 AM, my contractions seemed MUCH closer together - like 3 or 4 minutes or so. Um, strange.... isn't early labor supposed to last sometime... you know, take a walk, do household chores to keep your mind off of things, time your contractions every once in a while so that you're not constantly thinking about it while your waiting, waiting waiting? Apparently not for me.

I took a shower, got out, started timing contractions and they were 3 minutes apart.

Wasn't I suppose to time the contractions and go to the hospital when they were 5 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds or longer, for more than an hour? I tried to get stuff together as much as possible - the last minute stuff like my cell charger - in between my 3 minute contractions while waiting for the last few minutes until 9:00 when my doctor's office opened. (I mean, I could have paged them, but it was almost 9, and I hadn't been in labor THAT long, right?)

Well, off to the hospital they sent me. I arrived at about 10:00 and after my check in and examination, they determined that I was 3 cm dilated.

Sometime in the early afternoon, around 1, maybe, they broke my water. Dr. Feldman was already at the hospital (helping to deliver his 2nd grandson!) so he was able to break my water.

My contractions stayed pretty consistently 3 minutes apart, the whole time I was there. I felt like I never really had a break. My labor and delivery nurse told me that I needed to relax through my contractions, like a rag doll - not tense up or fight them. So I basically made myself lay limp, like a noodle, and kept thinking "rag doll rag doll." One ting that was difficult for me, though, was even when the contraction subsided, I could still feel it, and I didn't want to "give in to it" and make me be tense - so rather than taking time to prepare for each contraction, or "get ready for it," I just sort of stayed in my "meditative" state. However, this meant that it was too hard to pull myself out of it to ask for things like ice chips or rags, which I wanted. Luckily, Grant was able to ask me pretty often and anticipate when I might need those ice chips - because I probably didn't really speak to anyone for awhile so I imagine people around me were feeling pretty helpless.

In the delivery room with me were Grant, my mom, my sister, Grant's mom, and for much of the time, my dad.

At about 3, my contractions started lasting longer and stronger.

I remembered thinking "How am I going to do this naturally if the contractions are this bad now? How will I survive that transitional phase with the last three centimeters?" After a few of these, I started to get scared that I wouldn't be able to do it, and started mentioning epidural to Grant. As we had discussed previously, he stayed really positive and encouraging, and told me I could do it. Some of the contractions were so strong, though, that I couldn't stay "in my zone" and had to react physically to them, which really didn't help.

The nurse checked me at almost 4 o'clock to encourage me. I debated in my head - if I am at an 8, or maybe a 7, I can still do this...

Apparently, though, what "they" say is correct - when you start feeling like you can't do it and need the drugs, you're almost there - and I was - I was at 9 cm, ready to push.

The baby warmer was turned on and it felt like things were happening very quickly, so I was pretty excited. However, pushing was very, very hard for me. I pushed for 2 hours and 45 minutes. I just seemed to be making very little progress. I don't know why - if I was doing something wrong, if it was the size of the baby, or what was happening. My nurse, Kristen Serna, who had been with me from the beginning, stayed 45 minutes past her shift to be with me - I think even she was surprised that it took me so long. She was awesome giving me tips to help - for example, she gave me one end of a towel and my sister the other and had me pull on the towel while pushing to help me make my pushes more effective.

My birth plan had said no episiotomy unless necessary, but at the very end it was necessary. It probably would have sped up the process if I had one earlier, but Dr. Feldman was really going all out to respect my birth plan in every way possible. I did end up getting one, though. When Baby G was finally ready, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, so Dr. Feldman had to quickly clamp and cut the cord and unwrap it. Then Baby G threw in another kink and had shoulder dysplasia, which basically meant his shoulder got stuck (which I think is when I got the episiotomy.)

However, healthy and strong, Geoffrey Walter Benedict entered the world at 6:46 PM on February 20th. He was 9 pounds, 1 ounce (causing me to say "oh shit!" - my only utterance of bad language during the whole procedure, apparently!) and 21 inches long.

I am so grateful to Dr. Feldman. He has been so supportive all along of how I wanted to have this baby. He did everything he could to follow my plan. Yet his expertise and experience guided him towards making sure that Geoffrey and I were safe and healthy. I am also very grateful to my nurse Kristen, for staying with me throughout the entire delivery, and for being so supportive.

In retrospect, one thing I would have done on my birth plan was specify which things were most important to me - for example, the episiotomy, prior to labor, I would have preferred not to have- but I really didn't care either way - it wasn't as important as, say, my desire to not have a C-Section. Had I specified in my birth plan which of my desires were less important, I may have had the epsiotomy earlier, which may have sped things along.

One thing Grant and I discussed, though, is that if I HAD gotten an epidural, I may not have been able to push him out., and would have needed to go to C-section. This is something that I'm going to talk about with Dr. Feldman.

After delivery, Geoffrey came straight to me and we had skin to skin contact while Dr. Feldman delivered my placenta and stitched me up. They weighed and measured Geoff and wrapped him all up, and gave him to Grant, his daddy, to hold. Then Grandma, Nonna, Aunt Tammy, and Grandpa Bob got to hold him for a few minutes as Dr. Feldman finished.

Then everyone left except for Grant, the lights were dimmed, and he and I got to spend a precious hour with Geoffrey. Geoff got to breastfeed, and Grant was able to comfort me as I continued to come out of the haze of labor. The time really helped me calm down and sort of phase back in to reality. My new reality. I am a mom now. My Geoffrey is so precious.

False Labor?

The last few nights, I have started getting really sore, and very uncomfortable. It usually starts in the late afternoon/early evening, with increased pressure on my pelvis - not contractions or anything, just very painful when I get up and down from being seated or laying down.

As the evening progresses, I start to get some cramps in my lower back, and occasionally in my stomach. Now, I know labor can begin this way, but I also know that if the cramp goes away with movement or position change, or does not continue to come and go with some sort of pattern, then it is probably false labor. And that's how it been with me. Yes, the cramps hurt, but I can usually find a new position to relieve it, and it goes away for a long time.

Last night I got a few such cramps and just felt in general very uncomfortable. I also saw that I had a lot of mucous on my underwear (my mucous plug?) so I wondered if, indeed, this could possible be it (although I knew full well that loss of mucous plug can happen weeks before labor begins, and I also knew that I'd been uncomfortable for several nights and by the next morning, felt great again.)

 Which is exactly what happened. I fell asleep, slept well all night long (with the exception, of course, of getting up to pee every few hours), and feel perfectly fine this morning.

Sigh. It is a little annoying, but false labor, I am sure, must indicate that SOMETHING is going on, right?

and the results of today's appointments...

Talk about a mood swing day!

So this morning at fetal monitoring, Baby G's fluid rate was 6.8, which was low, but ok. If it gets below 5, that's when they want to induce. The stress test was good - I had two contractions, and the baby moved a lot with appropriate heart rate response, so that was good news. Still, the nurse thought that I should really think about getting that induction because of the fluid levels, so I was feeling sort of bummed. Ok, a lot bummed.

After lunch, I headed to Dr. Feldman. He had already received the results of the morning's tests. He didn't seem as concerned about the fluid level. More just as something I should keep an eye on.

He said, "I see you're scheduled for an induction..."
"Yes...." I drawled out.
"I hear a 'but' in that yes" Dr. Feldman chuckled. "What are you thinking?" 
"Well, I would really, really like this baby to come on his own - if he's healthy and everything looks ok. If you think it would be all right, I'd like to put off the induction until next Monday."
"Yeah, I think that would be all right." Dr. Feldman said. "You can cancel it and reschedule for next week. I'm not on call this weekend, so if he comes then, I won't deliver, but I think it is more important that we try to have this baby the way you want to have it. You're in good shape and the baby is healthy. However, you're going to need to do fetal monitoring this week, and if your fluids are lower than 5, be aware that we'll have to induce you then."
"OK," I said, "I'm scheduled for Friday at 12:30."
"What?" asked Dr. Feldman. "They scheduled your fetal montioring for Friday? Did they know you were scheduled to be induced onThursday?"
"Not exactly." I smiled. "I figured it best to have all of my bases covered just in case you said I could reschedule my induction."
Dr. Feldman laughed. "You are a sneaky one!"

So - I went from feeling very blue to pretty ecstatic. I love that Dr. Feldman feels that my pregnancy is healthy and that he is so supportive of how I'd ideally like to have the baby. I love his confidence in me and my pregnancy, it makes me feel very secure. He also made my mom cry on the way out the door because he told my mom that he could tell she did a very good job raising me because I was an exceptional young woman and that I'm a pleasure to know. ::blush::

So, the deets: I am over 90% effaced, still about 1 cm dilated. If the baby does not come on his own, I am scheduled to be induced on Monday, Feb. 23. However, I could also be induced this Friday if my fluids are below 5. Otherwise, he has 6 days to come on his own.

Baby G, you've got 6 more days! Sigh. He's either got my gene for procrastinating or his father's gene for being stubborn. Hee hee.

One way or another, we'll meet him within a week!

41 weeks

Your Baby
You may be more than ready, but apparently baby isn't quite done enjoying the comfy digs you've provided him or her. And while every day you don't have your baby may seem like an eternity, he or she really will be here soon. So what's going on in there?

The good news is, in general, babies who are born "late" (in the "fourth trimester") weigh more, appear more alert and have more hair than babies born earlier. Some even come out singing and dancing. OK, not really, but you'll feel like singing and dancing after you finally get that baby out of you.

Your future sumo wrestler now probably weighs between 7½ and 8 pounds and measures about 21 inches long. So not only is the baby late, but he keeps getting bigger, making delivery more challenging, er, we mean exciting.

Today's Wish List

Dear Baby,
We have a couple of appointments today. At 10:30, we have fetal testing and at 2:15, we're going to see Dr. Feldman.

Here's what we hope will happen:

You are going to move a lot, and your heart rate will go up appropriately. Also, Mommy is going to have a few contractions, and your heart rate will stay level - or drop a little - just like it is supposed to. Our fluid levels are going to look really good.

Then we're going to see Dr. Feldman. He's going to say that mommy is progressing (2 cm? shall I wish for more?) and since all of my tests are looking good, and your kick counts are good, we can reschedule the induction for next week, giving us a little more time to get this whole thing started naturally.

Does that sound like a plan, Baby G?

All right - let's do it!

Waiting

Waiting. and waiting. and waiting.

It is the not knowing WHEN or HOW that makes the waiting annoying.

I am so thankful, though, that I am comfortable!

blues

Last night while I was laying in bed with Grant, we were talking, and it occurred to me that I didn't really feel nervous. I ALWAYS get nervous! Before vacations, the first day of school, you name it, I get nervous. So here I am, on the dawn of one of the biggest events of my life, and I haven't had those nervous butterflies yet. Of course, mentioning it did give me a small case of the flutters - but nothing really bad.

Part of it, I think, is the unknown - you know, not knowing when it is going to happen. But part of me wonders why I am not MORE nervous because I don't know when it is going ti happen.

Today, I went in for more fetal monitoring. I was glad to go in, because I woke up kind of worried - he hasn't been moving as much. I can still do kick counts and stuff, but it was nice to be reassured.

The first lady had trouble funding measurements of amniotic fluid, but a 2nd nurse was able to get a measurement of 8.2. She says she wants me drinking lots of water and resting - but that I didn't have anything to worry about and to come back next Tuesday unless I heard otherwise.

The stress test, also, she said was fine - the baby didn't move as much, as I mentioned, but when he did, his heart rate went up. I was only on the monitoring for about 20 minutes or so - and I only had one small contraction.

I don't know - she said everything was fine but I don't feel very reassured. I woke up with the blues and just can't shake this feeling of being on the verge of crying. I know I'll never stop worrying about the baby, but it seems like once he is out, I can monitor him easier. I can see him and feel his heartbeat. I am being silly. I just got the blues.

Date Night

Yesterday, Feb. 10, was my due date. Since baby G is not here yet, and there were no signs that he was coming soon, Mom suggested that grant and I go out on a date!

SO Grant and I went to dinner at Houston's. It was de-licious. I had this yummy thai noodle salad with steak, and Grant had ono and a braised cabbage with goat cheese side that he said was absolutely delicious.

 We shared an ice cream sundae for dessert, and they put a candle on it to congratulate us on our upcoming parenthood!

After dinner, we went and watched The Reader, which was a really great movie. I thought they did a good job adapting the book - and Kate Winslet was, of course, amazing, as was David Kross, who played Michael Burg.

What a nice night. I love being with Grant. I am so excited to share this time with him now, and I am so excited that he and I get to share the adventure of parenthood together!

40 week appt

Yesterday, I went in for two appointments for Baby G. First, I went to the hospital for fetal monitoring - they did a non stress test and measured the fluid in the amniotic sac. The fluid levels are great - just where they should be. The heartbeat was strong and steady and rose whenever he moved, exactly as it is supposed to do - so everything looks good on that front. I only had one contraction during the whole 45 minutes I was hooked up to the machine.

Later, I had a regular appointment at the OB. Dr. Feldman was out delivering a baby, so I saw Jessica Brownrigg, the nurse practitioner that I do like. Everything looks healthy, but I am still just where I was last week - about 75% thinned and barely a cm dilated. Jessica asked about induction - I told her I wanted to go as long as I possibly could without it., and Jessica said most of the doctors don't like you to go past 41 weeks.  Unfortunately, Dr. Feldman wasn't there, but Jessica suggested that i go ahead and book an induction just so I have one on the books if Dr. Feldman decides it is neccesary. I went ahead and booked another appoinment for next Tuesday, and an induction tentitively for Thursday (of next week) - that way I can see Dr. Feldman on Tuesday and hopefully put off the induction another week if my monitering continues to look good (I go in for monitering again this Friday and probably will next Tuesday as well.)

Of course, Baby G could come at any time, so none of this might matter!

I am still feeling good and comfortable, and plenty able to sleep - so I don't really see any reason to induce - as long as the baby is healthy. Obviously, I am looking forward to meeting him - but I certainly don't have any feelings that I need to induce for my own comfort!

Wait and see!

40 weeks

Your Baby
Congrats! That bun in your oven is fully baked! That's the good news. The possibly not so stellar news: Actually giving birth on your due date is hard to do—even for overachievers. In fact, many first-time moms go up to 2 weeks past their due date (sorry!). Hopefully now that baby is cooked to perfection, he'll come bouncing out any day now. Other last-minute progress:

Because some of your hormones are passed into your baby's system, your baby's genitals (scrotum in boys and labia in girls), and even his or her breasts, may appear enlarged at birth. It can be alarming, but rest assured it's perfectly normal.

At birth your baby has a total of 300 bones. Some of the bones will fuse together later, which is why an adult has only 206 bones. Fascinating, no?

Babies vary in size at this point, but the average full-term baby weighs around 7 to 8 pounds and hovers around 19 or 20 inches. That's about the size of a ... BABY! Of course, tell that to the mother who just delivered a 9-pound baby vaginally.

 

How I am feeling

Since I had wanted this blog to be a blog of everything I experienced during my pregnancy, I feel as though I may disappoint since the process was so smooth for me, and i didn't have a ton of pregnancy symptoms.

In general, I have felt pretty good these last few weeks. I've noticed that the baby dropped just in my physical appearance - I never really had the shortness of breath or rib kicks, and I don't feel a significant increase of pressure on my bladder, although it is somewhat noticeable.

In the afternoon, after work, I do notice a soreness on the right side of my pelvic area. It sort of feels like a bruise or like I got kicked, but on the inside.

At night, I can sleep pretty well. I usually feel the most tired and sore at night - but it doesn't prevent me from falling asleep. The first few times that I wake up to pee are the hardest for me because my body is still sore and recovering from the day. Typically it is my hips that are sore, and sometimes my lower back. As the night carries on, it is easier to get up.

Usually, I can fall asleep with no problems. If I can't fall asleep, it has been because I have a million thoughts in my mind that I just can't seem to let go. I've been up for hours with my mind racing - but this usually only happens a few times a week, if that.

I have definitely been sleeping more - usually going to bed at around 9ish.

All in all, I feel incredibly fortunate to have had such a wonderful pregnancy. 

Oh - here is a funny thing - the other night I was trying to roll from one side to the other, but the baby was all stretched out and stiff, and I couldn't twist my torso in order to turn  - it was a pretty funny feeling!

Eye of the storm

Yesterday was my last day of work until April. It is so surreal. I feel like I should feel different if the baby is getting ready to come (physically, emotionally), but I don't yet. I feel overwhelmed leaving work, but otherwise... 

Everyone around me is swirling with thoughts of my eminent labor, ("you must be so excited, he is coming soon," "rest up" "wishing you an easy delivery..." "are you nervous?" "let us know if you're going into labor..." ) I feel more like the eye of the storm... that is, aware of all these feelings swirling around me that I should or could be feeling, but just not really bending in any direction.

39 Week Dr.s Appt

I had an appointment with Dr. Feldman yesterday. I am still only dilated to about a centimeter, but I am thinned 75%.  Baby G's heartbeat is in the 140's and all is looking well! I dropped a pound, which apparently is common as lablr approaches.

Next Tuesday is my due date. I have an appointment at the hospital for fetal monitoring, and I have my regular appointment with Dr. Feldman. 

Both Dr. Feldman and I agree that there is no reason to think about inducing at this point - it is much better if we can just let everything happen naturally - so the waiting game is on!

39 weeks

Your Baby
One uncomfortable complaint of late pregnancy is frequent hiccups. No, not you, your baby. Because there is no air around your baby, when she practices breathing, it can cause amniotic fluid to get into her windpipe, resulting in those regularly spaced thumps that make you think you're carrying a jumping bean in your belly. Other news this week:

The lanugo (an exotic word for soft, downy hair) that used to cover your baby's body has mostly disappeared, but you may find a bit leftover on the shoulders, forehead and neck. Don't freak and think you've given birth to a monkey: It'll fall out soon.

The color of baby's skin is changing from a red-pink hue to a white or blue-pink color (even in babes with dark skin). These changes are due to the amount of fat your little pudger is putting on. The circumference of your baby's head and abdomen are about the same size now (though you may not be able to tell if your baby's born with the common cone-shaped head!).

The placenta is lending your Mini antibodies that'll keep him strong and healthy after birth. That said, it's still a good idea to invest in that mega-size bottle of hand sanitizer.

At this point your little critter is about 19 to 20 inches long and weights about 7 pounds. That's just around the size of a large rabbit. What's up Doc?