I am feeling fantastic so far today. No cramps. I think my little apple seed likes Jamba Juice.
Have I mentioned that I am referring to my little blastocyst as my apple seed? I don't think it is quite that big yet, but for some reason I have that visual stuck in my head.
When I feel good though, like i do today, I get worried because I think maybe I'm not really pregnant, maybe the tests made a mistake... is that strange? When I have cramps, I have one worry, and when I feel nothing, then i think maybe the whole thing is imagined.
Mind you, though, I don't have really any intense feelings. Like I am not stressing, or worrying, or feelng any major intense feeling.
In fact, what I am mostly feeling right now is this sense of calm, of peace. I feel different, like something amazing is going to happen, and I am on the brink of it, and what it is going to be is going to be incredibly beautiful. I feel patient, which is very unlike me. (I don't expect THAT feeling to last.)
I think, as Grant and I begin telling people, that will generate some enthusiasm. Sometimes, it is hard not saying anything. Other times, though, it sort of accompanies my peaceful feeling. Like I am carrying around this precious little secret, this special little apple seed that only Grant and I know about.
Have I mentioned that I am referring to my little blastocyst as my apple seed? I don't think it is quite that big yet, but for some reason I have that visual stuck in my head.
When I feel good though, like i do today, I get worried because I think maybe I'm not really pregnant, maybe the tests made a mistake... is that strange? When I have cramps, I have one worry, and when I feel nothing, then i think maybe the whole thing is imagined.
Mind you, though, I don't have really any intense feelings. Like I am not stressing, or worrying, or feelng any major intense feeling.
In fact, what I am mostly feeling right now is this sense of calm, of peace. I feel different, like something amazing is going to happen, and I am on the brink of it, and what it is going to be is going to be incredibly beautiful. I feel patient, which is very unlike me. (I don't expect THAT feeling to last.)
I think, as Grant and I begin telling people, that will generate some enthusiasm. Sometimes, it is hard not saying anything. Other times, though, it sort of accompanies my peaceful feeling. Like I am carrying around this precious little secret, this special little apple seed that only Grant and I know about.
No comments:
Post a Comment